January 31st, 2011

    Things were going pretty well today. There was no AP Government test first period, AP English class went by with a movie, I did pretty well on AP Psychology, there was no basketball practice, and I enjoyed a wonderful afternoon. Well, things went really well and life was easy going. Chinese New Year break is coming up and we have another school day tomorrow, but I don't think things will to too stressing tomorrow. I hope I can spend some more time with her tomorrow. After all, I won't be able to see her for a week and I will miss her a lot. I hope the holidays end quickly, because I want to see her really soon. Finally, I wish everyone a happy Chinese New Year.

January 30th, 2011

    It's been a busy weekend and there are lots of things that were accomplished during this time. Friday was an absolutely horrible and fantastic day. I made a terrible mistake Friday morning and that almost destroyed our relationship. Well, things were better at Hoopla, the fundraiser for the basketball team. I got so drunk that I couldn't figure out who was in front of me and I almost got into something that I shouldn't have done. I love you and I'm sorry for what I did. I hope you forgive me. The event went on until 11:00, when we finally finished cleaning up the cafeteria.
    It was a really exhausting week and I was so tired that I slept until four in the afternoon on Saturday. It was a really depressing day and it was also a really short one. I can't forgive myself now. I hope I feel better tomorrow.
   Sunday was somewhat better then Saturday. Well, it was a more meaningful day. We finished cleaning all the surfaces of the house and we are ready for Chinese New Year. I think we are ready, but I need to get some more new clothes for the holiday.

January 27th, 2011

    Love is easy and love can happen anywhere because everyone has the right to love another person. I never knew love could be so easy and I never new that love would spark between her and me. After being together with her, I figured love was not that difficult. All you need to do is believe in your love and live on. I faced many problems and many struggles, but I was able to end all of them with faith. This video and this song really helped me strengthen my faith in our relationship. This song is not only a good description for how our relationship started, it is also a perfect description of my feelings towards you. I love you and it is not possible for me not to. I'll never give up this right I have to love you. So, when you have doubt, listen to my heart. Listen to the voice "I love you". I'll always be here. I'll always love you. Never to give up.

January 26th, 2011

   
    Sometimes some laughter is good for your health. When I think about laughter that comes from videos, I think about parodies. This video here is a parody of Jay Chou's "Thousand Miles Away". It is very hilarious and it even includes information on the current economy around the world. I find this video really funny and amusing while also finding it depicting debt problems very realistically. Maybe we should laugh a little more. When you think about stressful problems, you get tired and somewhat lazy. A video like this would really help you get through difficult times.

January 25th, 2011

  
    There are many musics videos that I have watched and there they are all very well done, but I like this one the most. This music video was made to accompany Jay Chou's song "Moving Back" and I believe this video is the best fit for this song. I really like this song and I listen to it when I feel confused about our relationship. People always tell others to move forward in life, but moving forward sometimes gets us stuck in trouble and moving forward can result in us losing our direction in life. Instead of moving forward all the time, taking a few step back can really help. Taking a few steps back can not only allow us to understand the problems we have to face but it can also give us directions in life.
    We all have to move on and try out different possibilities in life, but taking a few steps back and allowing ourselves to readjust is as important. When you face problems in life, try listening to this song and readjusting how you feel. It really helps!

January 24th, 2011

    Seems like both of us got into some big trouble today. I swear things really do get out of hand. We had a very pleasant afternoon today, but the costs for this date are great. We went out at four forty and we left the place at six forty five. Her parents are now mad at her and they even want all the cellphone numbers of her friends. My mom is pretty mad at me as well and she just left me at school today. We're both tired today and we both need some rest, but the turbulence we caused today is probably not going to allow us to rest well. I just hope that it works out for both of us. I want her to get some rest tonight so that she has enough energy tomorrow. I really like what happened today! It was wonderful and amazing. Even if we face difficulties now, I want you to know something. You're never gonna be alone.

January 23th, 2011

    It has been quite some time since I've been so happy. Friday was horrible and Saturday morning was so hard to live through. I thought I was going to die and I cried myself to sleep Friday night. Even though those times were hard to cope with, Saturday afternoon was different. It was so different that I still feel shock this moment. Things turned out exactly opposite from what I expected them to be. I never thought it was possible between us, but that was different than what actually happened. I really have to say, life is unpredictable and it sure is full of surprises.
    I have to say sorry to the basketball team due to this because I'm going to spend more time with her. I'm gonna base my life on her and I'm never gonna get distracted by anything else. I hope we don't have to face any disputes. I want her to be happy and I'm gonna keep her safe. Thank you very much for what happened yesterday! I love you. For the song we love the most.

January 20th, 2011

    Yo man. I finally figured the "why" I so wanted to know and I'm pretty happy about that. There are no longer doubts in my mind and I feel pretty free now. It great when you feel good man. Well, I feel great except for the fact that I got two tests tomorrow and I just received some really bad news. She can't come watch the game tomorrow and she can't go out on Saturday. How much bad luck do I have man? Just why ain't things working for me? I don't understand at all.
    I just have to say, life sucks man. Well, let me put those things down on the side man. I have a game tomorrow and I really can't spend my time thinking about other things. This is going to be a very interesting game tomorrow; I'm not going to let Guangfu take it easily man.
    Just some sidenotes, I love you baby. Smile for me.

January 19th, 2011

    Yo, what is up man? That's the first thing we usually say when we meet a friend that's been away for a long time. That is the question I want to ask myself. Why the hell man I am acting so strangely lately? Man. I'm like a ghost floating around with no purpose in mind. I don't know, but I think life is a little strange for me right now? Some of my friends say to me, "just move on and you will get your answer", but I really don't know man. I seem lost again. Lost floating on the vast ocean, not knowing what to do. This is dangerous man. Losing yourself when you know who you are and where you should be. I love her. I don't want to end things like this.

January 18th, 2011

    Man, I shouldn't have went to the barber shop today. My hairstyle look ridiculous. Well, its not that bad, but it was better before the cut. I hope the hair grow back quickly man, or else this would be really, really embarrassing for me. Today was supposed to be a good day, but the further the day went, the worse I felt. You know man, things just go like the tides and my day just went up and down. I hate it when that happens. Why can't there just be a peaceful and happy day? I hate the low tides man. I really hate those times. They not just mess up my day, they also mess up the good emotions of my friends. I hate those really bad low tides. Just hate them man.
  

January 17th, 2011

    Today ain't the best day for me mate. I really ain't doing well and me friends ain't supporting me in any way. Things cannot be done perfectly today and there are a bunch of stuff that left regrets in me man. Today could have been a perfect day you know. Man, there are just some things that mess up the day. Government class would've been perfect without the test you know. You know man, I really hate test first thing in the morning. Test first thing in the morning are brain cell killers. English class would've been perfect if a brought my computer. I just ain't remember to bring my laptop and that completely destroyed the feeling of fully preparing oneself for class. You know. Even though I didn't bring my own laptop I was able to borrow one from the girl. I got some stuff from her laptop and they were great man. Psychology class would've been better if a hadn't fell asleep. I thought today's psych class was interesting somehow.
    Basketball practice went well, better than I thought. My mates were ready to welcome me back from the two week absence and I did great. Just love playing ball.

January 16th, 2011

    This week ain't going well for me at all. There's just too much stuff to do and my thoughts are flying by like the wind. Not only homework, but also cleaning duties due to the upcoming Chinese New Year break. I really don't know if I can handle all this. There are big winds blowing and the waves are building up higher and higher. I doubt I can surf through these waves safely. I really doubt that I can make it. While I'm typing this essay, I got to worry about an AP Government test tomorrow as well as so much other stuff. I have an AP government poster that I have to finish, I have AP Calculus homework that I have to turn in, I have AP European essays I have to write, and I have somebody to worry about.
    I really love her and I also love basketball, but I don't know which one to choose from. I must find a balance between the two and I must do it quickly. The basketball games are coming up soon and I must go to practice, but I also want to stay with her. I must make up my choice and I don't think my teammates will like my decision.

January 13th, 2011

    Up until this moment of the day, a friendship that is beyond the boundaries of normal friendship and a feeling of belonging to somewhere has made my day wonderful. I hope this feeling lasts to the time I fall into the world of memories. Lovely memories that I will get from tonight and lovely thoughts that spring from these memories. There is so much homework that is assigned to us and i really don't think I am capable of finishing all of it with the expected quality. I guess I have to work harder than I have ever done before.
    I love life and I love school, but I think I should think in a more optimistic way in order to get things done in a more efficient manner. I have to plan out my time during the weekend carefully so that I can finish all my work and study for all of the test that are going to jump on me next week.
    Leaving off with some last thoughts, I love you!!!!

January 12th, 2011

    A long day passed by with several questions that were answered with answers that made me very confident. Not only confidence in myself, but also confidence towards the future and confidence towards her. Life seems to be much easier when the questions I have in mind have been resolved. Answered questions lead to a light wighted heart and a light weighted heart leads to a happy life. I hope that this happiness has no end to it and I hope this happiness can last into the next life. Let life carve  memories into me.
    A cold day as it is and a sleepy day as well, most of the students including me fell asleep in class due to the freezing cold weather and the thick jackets that they had on. There were so many heads on the desks today and exhaustion spread like a disease.
    Part of the basketball team is getting heated up and ready for competition while the other part is getting more serious at the game they are about to face. Two games are coming up in a row and something has to change this time; we're going to win.

January 11th, 2011

    Today is a really strange day with so many unexpected comments that worsened my mood. Things aren't going very well for me and I really don't know how I should face her when I want to talk to her about things kept inside my heart. Whenever I talk about the things that I keep in my mind that are slowly suffocating me, both of us get harmed and this happens every time. Whenever somebody wants something, they can never get it. That seems to be the rules that my life is based on right now. Without capability to change this fact, without the needed energy to change my life, and without the support from the right person.
    Life doesn't seem as interesting as it was before and it seems as if life never leads people on the right way. I hold only one belief now. The belief that people have to create the right path for themselves. If they fail to create their own path, they are destined for isolation. Not isolation from the general public, but instead isolation from the ones that they love and cherish the most.
    I love you, but you're moving further and further away.

January 10th, 2011

    Today is a complicated day filled with ups and downs, sudden events, and other strange events that do not happen around me. I lost an account that with everything in had, I couldn't schedule the time to ask questions about AP Calculus, I couldn't finish my calculus homework and in result I have a whole bunch of homework that I need to complete. A long and wordy blog post for a comparison of the movie we watched today and The Scarlet Letter, a poster that we have to do to explain the flow of the British governmental system, and so many questions for calculus that I have to work on with other calculus students. There are so many things that I have to do in a complete and orderly fashion and I can't even imagine how long this will continue. I'm also extremely troubled by the writing style that was assigned for us when we are supposed to write our journals. Activities are going on and I don't think it would be a very appropriate time to complain about how much stuff I have to do. Just doing it would be much better.

January 9th, 2011

    I really don't know what the hell is going on with me this semester. My grades are not as well as I expected and my GPA is really low. My average high school GPA has dropped after the GPA for the first semester of my senior year has been added. I really don't know if I could get into any college with the current grades I have right now. So many questions and so much doubt in my mind with nobody to respond to them.
    I was really depressed after I looked at my transcript. My grade for calculus complete ruined my chances of admission to some of my colleges and I lost my advantage as one of the top ranking students of the graduating class.
    Model United Nations is going pretty well for me thought. I got a chance to participatein the conference at Russia as a delegate in the Security Council. This is a very rare chance and I'm going to do my best at it. Basketball practice isn't going very well thought. I'm planning on leaving the team before the Chinese New Year break but I don't know how I should tell the team.

January 6th, 2011

    I feel kinda depressed today and I really don't really want to do anything. I've been thinking about the reasons why I feel so depressed and helpless these few day and I came up with an answer. My body is becoming really fatigued due to the little amounts of sleep I get each day. With such a week body, I can barely do anything and I'm losing most of abilities regarding basketball. I really need to rest more, but I also want to spend more time with her as well. I really don't like this struggle that is going on inside me. We are destined to be normal friends, but I'm willing to sacrifiece my time and health just to spend more time with her. This is a very complicated feeling that I have. I want to share how I feel with my friends but I really don't know who I should talk to. If this situation continues, I'm probably going to get so weak that I won't even be able to run. There are several basketball games and school events coming up and I really want to participate in them. I've got to get my body back to normal.

January 5th, 2011

    Today is a very plain day with nothing special. I finished all my finals and I am almost free. All I have to do now is send out the first semester reports to our colleges. I'm about to collapse and I really don't know how I'm supposed to face "her". This is a very serious problem because I might be in a life threatening situation. Today's basketball practice is also somewhat unmotivated, but I still got hurt anyway. I really need to train my body more and gain more weight.
    I think I like how things are going right now. Things meaning what is happening between me and her. I think I will just let our relationship stay this way, for the benefit of us both. Good night!

January 4th, 2011

    Today was a really strange day. A really depressing day as well. The AP Calculus final exam was so hard. There was a majority of questions that I did not understand and I think I messed up on the exam. I really don't know what my score will be for my first semester report card, but I do know that my scores won't be too good. I'm deeply worried about tomorrow's AP English exam because I'm not very confident in my writing and I don't think I can actually finish the essay in an hour.
    I don't like how things are going today and I don't want to talk at all. I feel as if I'm trapped in a deep cave without light, isolated from the world. Like I'm destine to be sealed in the cave forever and destined to fall deeper and deeper into the cave. As I'm falling deeper and deeper down, the more desperate I become in searching for hope. When I can't find any hope I can hold on to and when I can't find anyone to put my faith on, I feel as if tears are about to fall off my cheeks. This concealment seems eternal and it surely does feel eternal. This scenario is as if being stabbed in the heart but not being able to die. As if an eternal torture.

January 3rd, 2011

    Today is a really depressing day. Absolutely nothing is going well for me and I really don't like how things are going right now. I received the test scores for my final exam in AP Psychology, AP Comparative Government, and AP English. I didn't do as well as I expected on all three tests. The scores were acceptable, but they could have been higher if I was more careful during the test. I don't think my grades this semester will look too good. I wonder how much this will affect my college admission process. Somebody save me.
    The basketball team is facing some really serious problems. The weather is too cold and there is just no way we can play. Our bodies are frozen and we can barely move our fingers.
    The biggest problem I have now is my AP Calculus test tomorrow. I don't know how I am going to face up with that test and I think this test will ruin my GPA.

January 2nd, 2011

    This entry would be the first one for the new year and it is quite a coincidence that the we have a final exam the first day we get back to school. I really don't want to take a test the first day we get back to school, but I have no choice at all. The seniors must take the finals before or on Wednesday so that we can send our senior year transcripts to the universities that we have applied for. I only have to take finals for two more subjects, but those two subjects are the two hardest subjects that I have. I really have to work for this time's grades because I don't believe they will come easily. I'm really not good at math and I really don't know how well I will do on an AP exam. I just hope my mind is clear enough for the AP English test tomorrow.