I finally have the time to type up a journal entry. I've sent out all of my online applications and I only have one envelope left that I have to send. I'm almost done with my college application but I can't feel any joy or happiness. I feel as if I could die any moment right now. Why is it that it's always those that are most important to you or those that are closest to you that harm you? I really can't find reasons to continue this pattern. I want to end this once and for all. I want to change who I am. I can no longer keep her in my heart. Everything ends right now.
I have no answers to the questions I have in mind. I wonder why life is as it is. I wonder why I can't leave this infinite cycle of pain. How come I'm always dragged into a situation I can't leave? Why is life so difficult? I need to change myself before it is too late. I need this change before I go insane from this everlasting pain. I want an end and I need a conclusion.
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