It's the last day of November and this is the last day that I will put my heart with her. I'm losing my place and she is uncomfortable with what we have at the instant. Things won't get any better for us so it would be best for us to end it right here. This is the last night that I will keep you in my heart and this is the last night that i will let you have my heart. I'm sorry, but I can no longer be perplexed about what I'm supposed to do and what I'm supposed to worry about. Thank you for supporting me all this time. It's time to support myself.
It has been a whole year since I've played basketball with our neighbors and it's the last year I have to defeat the in a game. I can't afford to lose. I can't be lost in thought. All I have to do is work with everything that I have.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
November 29th, 2010
I'm not just worried now. I'm extremely worried about finishing the college application process on time. Things are not going very well and I am greatly behind the expected pace. I have to focus on college application now or I won't be able to be admitted into college. I have a few more essays I have to type, I have all my envelopes I have to finish, and I have to check and complete all the online application forms for all the school. This is driving me crazy and I can't leave this state of chaos. This is the last fight and I can't afford to lose.
It's the same feeling for the basketball team year after year. I feel disappointed at how the basketball team is currently running. I just hope we don't mess up the games that are going to happen in a few weeks.
I got ignored by her today and I think I know why, but it still feels depressing when it actually happens. I hope you feel better and get well soon. I have to do college applications during these two weeks so I won't be able to accompany you as long.
It's the same feeling for the basketball team year after year. I feel disappointed at how the basketball team is currently running. I just hope we don't mess up the games that are going to happen in a few weeks.
I got ignored by her today and I think I know why, but it still feels depressing when it actually happens. I hope you feel better and get well soon. I have to do college applications during these two weeks so I won't be able to accompany you as long.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
November 28th, 2010
There are only two more days left in November and there are only two weeks left before our college applications are to be sent. Simply put, our next stage of life will be decided in the next two weeks. I don't really understand what this means for the moment, but I know I will have to give it my best if I want to go to college.
Frustration and loneliness are the only feelings that I can use to describe the state I'm in. I'm frustrated at the college application process and the numerous events that will be held, but I'm also afraid that no college will admit me. I have to make something happen before I regret it. Something has got to happen and if nothing does, I will make it happen.
The same applies for basketball as well. I will make something happen at all cost. This is my last year of high school and I don't want to let anything leave regret.
Frustration and loneliness are the only feelings that I can use to describe the state I'm in. I'm frustrated at the college application process and the numerous events that will be held, but I'm also afraid that no college will admit me. I have to make something happen before I regret it. Something has got to happen and if nothing does, I will make it happen.
The same applies for basketball as well. I will make something happen at all cost. This is my last year of high school and I don't want to let anything leave regret.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
November 25th, 2010
I'm running out of time and my schedual is being filled with more events than ever before. Sports day, IELTS, college application, essays, basketball games, and relationship problems. There are just so many problems that I can't focus on any of them at all. I want to do well on sports day, I want to pass the IElTS with a high score, I want to finish all my college applications, I want to finish all of my essays, I want to win the basketball tournement, and I want to solve my relationship problems. I have so many things I want to accomplish but I have so little time. I must hurry up.
The boundry between normal friends and lovers is melting away. I want you to know I love you, but I'm afraid this would ruin our relationship again.
The boundry between normal friends and lovers is melting away. I want you to know I love you, but I'm afraid this would ruin our relationship again.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
November 24th, 2010
Large amounts of my time today was spent on nourishing myself with sleep. I don't understand the fatigue that is put upon me, but I know I have to work through it. It's just a little more than two weeks before the college applications will be finalized, but I'm far from finished. Pressure is building up for the seniors and we seem to have no way to relieve the pressure. I'm lost and I don't know what I'm supposed to do at the instance. I need time to give me the answer.
Fear and anxiety are rushing through my mind. Fear that we might lose in the next game and anxiety to play the next game are two opposite forces that are pushing in my mind. This is a really strange feeling that the basketball player have. I want to win our next game, but I also fear losing the game. This is my senior year, my last year as a high school student. I want to make it a worthy year and I want to create a legacy for the basketball team.
Fear and anxiety are rushing through my mind. Fear that we might lose in the next game and anxiety to play the next game are two opposite forces that are pushing in my mind. This is a really strange feeling that the basketball player have. I want to win our next game, but I also fear losing the game. This is my senior year, my last year as a high school student. I want to make it a worthy year and I want to create a legacy for the basketball team.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
November 23th, 2010
Today is a really tiring day and I'm really exhausted. Classes were very quickly done today and there wasn't any space that my brain had to fill in. Basketball was tough and I learned a lot from today's basketball practice. People can always improve. It doesn't matter how good you are at something, you can always improve. I really got to work harder on my college application essays.
It's been a while since I've last listened to one of the lecture by Mr. Lex. They are just as amazing as they were before. Precise but not missing out any information. Making sure that the students know what they need to know.
I never knew shopping was that tiring. I bought three sets of new suits today and they look really nice. Don't take everything for granted; some things don't come easily. I really appreciate what my parents have done in contributing to my life and I really thank them a lot for raising me.
Maybe were settled down now. Who knows? I really like how things are going for the two of us, but I'm also really uncertain that this would continue. I really hope it does.
It's been a while since I've last listened to one of the lecture by Mr. Lex. They are just as amazing as they were before. Precise but not missing out any information. Making sure that the students know what they need to know.
I never knew shopping was that tiring. I bought three sets of new suits today and they look really nice. Don't take everything for granted; some things don't come easily. I really appreciate what my parents have done in contributing to my life and I really thank them a lot for raising me.
Maybe were settled down now. Who knows? I really like how things are going for the two of us, but I'm also really uncertain that this would continue. I really hope it does.
Monday, November 22, 2010
November 22th, 2010
Rage and anxiety are running through my body at every second right now. I'm really mad at the fact that someone can actually be this stupid. If you really mean what you say and if she agrees, then I have no right to criticize you or be mad at you. If you are just fucking around with other peoples' feelings and messing around with the relationships between other individual, I swear I will rip you into pieces. You can be joking with me on anything, anything except for my relationship with her. If you continuously mess around like that, then there will be no space in which we can calmly coexist in.
It's not just people messing around with me. I also have large amounts of school work and college application essays that I have to complete. If you don't understand what pressure I'm going through, then leave me alone at the very least. I'm about to lose it, so stop pushing on my limits. This will be the last time that I tolerate things like this. I'm tired enough.
It's not just people messing around with me. I also have large amounts of school work and college application essays that I have to complete. If you don't understand what pressure I'm going through, then leave me alone at the very least. I'm about to lose it, so stop pushing on my limits. This will be the last time that I tolerate things like this. I'm tired enough.
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